If your children overhear you telling your friend how much you hate Susan’s new haircut, and then they hear you telling Susan you love her hair, you might think you’re teaching them the Life is a highway and I hate traffic shirt What’s more,I will buy this value of being kind to people, even if it involves a little white-lie. If you tell your child to clean up his/her room, and when he asks why, you yell: “Because I’m your mother and I said to do it!”, you might think you’re teaching them both the importance of keeping their living space tidy, and of respecting their elders. If you’re running late to get to an important event and you happen across a car that’s broken down, so you stop and help the driver, you might worry that you’re teaching your children that punctuality doesn’t matter. (You may also worry that you’re inadvertently teaching them a variety of swear words as you get on your way once more!) Often we don’t know what we’re teaching our kids until after they’ve learned it, but this “advice”, such as it is, helps me be more mindful in the moment of the lessons I’m teaching. And, most importantly, it allows me to reflect back on when and how I taught the behaviour I’m seeing in my children.
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